
There has been a surge In recent years, there have been more diagnoses of adult ADHD, so it’s understandable if you're beginning to think that everybody you know might now have this condition.
Dr. Ryan Sultan Dr. Sarah Johnson from New York-Presbyterian Hospital highlighted several factors contributing to this rise. Initially, she noted an increased acknowledgment and understanding of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) signs, which may not align with the conventional image of a hyperactive kid struggling to remain seated during class. It’s become clear that ADHD can manifest in various ways. women and girls Moreover, it’s not something everyone grows out of as they get older. Many adults also grapple with these symptoms; greater awareness has led to some finally receiving help for issues they’ve dealt with throughout their lives.
Moreover, Sultan mentioned that "the rapid pace and multiple tasks characteristic of modern life, along with the relentless stream of information and technological distractions," may "worsen pre-existing ADHD symptoms or make them more noticeable in ways they might not have been previously."
Whether people are only now experiencing symptoms of ADHD because of the way we operate in the world today or just now realizing that some of their past struggles could be attributed to ADHD, it’s true that more people are seeking an official diagnosis — and treatment.
Andrew Kahn A psychologist and associate director at Understood.org mentioned that he conducted an extensive amount of ADHD assessments for adults throughout the pandemic. He thinks that conversations about the subject on social media prompted numerous individuals to consider, "Could this apply to me? Is this what I'm experiencing?"
It's crucial not to presume that a large number of diagnoses implies they are inaccurate.
"While the rising number of ADHD diagnoses may spark worries about overidentification, it's crucial to acknowledge that numerous individuals currently receiving a diagnosis genuinely require assistance. The pressures of contemporary living can propel those with near-threshold or slight symptoms into experiencing notable functional difficulties," Sultan stated.
It's guaranteed that within your professional or personal circles, you're acquainted with at least one individual who has ADHD, even if they haven’t explicitly shared their condition with you. We discussed with Sultan, Khan, and various advocates what comments to refrain from making towards those diagnosed with ADHD and common misunderstandings surrounding this diagnosis.
1. 'ADHD is an issue that only children experience.'
Sultan mentioned historically, ADHD was frequently viewed as a condition exclusive to children that they would eventually 'outgrow.' "However," he added, "we currently know it can continue affecting individuals through adulthood." This persistence presents difficulties for those affected in educational settings, professional environments, and personal life. In fact, some partners have discovered that unaddressed ADHD significantly contributed to conflicts within their marriages.
2. 'You're far too intelligent to be dealing with ADHD.'
Indeed, only some individuals with ADHD face academic challenges; however, these difficulties stem from issues related to executive function rather than intellect. As Sultan explained, executive functions encompass tasks such as planning, prioritizing, managing time, and controlling emotions within one’s cognitive processes.
Despite putting in significant effort (often immense amounts of it), individuals with ADHD can overcome their executive function difficulties and achieve top grades in school along with acceptance into prestigious universities. However, this does not imply that the journey was effortless.
This statement dismisses the lifelong challenges that an individual with ADHD must overcome to attain any successes. Jesse J. Anderson , creator of the Extra Focus newsletter As an ADHD advocate, they shared with , "ADHD doesn't stop you from tackling major challenges in life. However, it often makes these endeavors significantly harder, with many of the underlying difficulties being concealed from view."
It bears mentioning again that there is no relationship between ADHD and intelligence.
People with ADHD possess comparable intelligence levels as those without," Kahn stated. "No evidence suggests this condition is linked to a lower IQ.
3. ‘It’s an excuse to be lazy.’
Dealing with ADHD might make completing tasks challenging, yet this does not always indicate a deficiency in capability or drive.
"Saying that someone with ADHD is lazy is both harmful and incorrect," Sultan stated.
Kahn explained that what seems like laziness could instead indicate an individual’s attempt to manage difficult circumstances. In this scenario, withdrawal may mistakenly be seen as idleness when it might really represent a sense of immobilization. According to Kahn, such immobilization involves feeling trapped, potentially leading others to perceive noncompliance or insufficient exertion where none exists.
Labeling the challenges associated with ADHD as a moral shortcoming, implying it's a deliberate decision, "is what these terms do," according to Anderson. "They suggest it’s a matter of personal choice." desperately eager to do the right thing, but facing an obstacle that makes it seem almost impossible to take action."
4. 'How come you can’t simply concentrate?'
For individuals with ADHD, struggling to concentrate does not indicate a absence of wish to pay attention.
This remark suggests that concentration merely depends on one’s determination, ignoring the neurological difficulties faced by people with ADHD," Sultan explained. "It can cause feelings of being criticized, annoyed, and not understood, making them believe that their hardships result from insufficient exertion.
5. 'In my opinion, you appear to be doing well.'
Considering that the typical image associated with ADHD is often a very active young boy, many individuals—such as adults and girls—do not conform to this archetype.
"Symptoms of ADHD can be hidden. A lot of individuals dealing with ADHD might hide their signs or handle them effectively sometimes, yet this does not imply they do not face challenges," Sultan stated.
6. 'It's really not such a huge issue.'
"Suggesting that ADHD isn't really serious" may come across as hurtful and offensive. Dani Donovan , author of The Anti-Planner: How to Accomplish Things Even When You're Not Feeling Motivated, told .
Living with ADHD can lead to significant stress for both children and adults. Anderson shared his perspective, stating, "Imagine always feeling unprepared during an ongoing exam without ever having studied; each day feels like a defeat, leaving you puzzled about the reasons behind this struggle. Others may not realize that your difficulties stem from trying to meet expectations when your mind operates differently than those around you."

7. ‘You’re overreacting.’
Nobody enjoys hearing this when they're feeling upset. Furthermore, Sultan noted that "difficulty managing emotions is a frequent symptom of ADHD."
“He mentioned that ignoring someone’s emotional reaction can leave them feeling dismissed and overlooked,” further stating that this could “heighten their frustration and lead them to believe that their feelings aren’t important.”
8. 'It doesn't appear like you struggle with concentrating when playing video games, watching TV, or using your phone.'
Considering that ADHD stands for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, one might think it indicates a lack of attention. However, the situation is actually more complex than that.
People with ADHD don't lack focus; instead, they possess more attention than usual," Anderson explained. "The challenge lies in controlling this excess attention, making it hard to direct properly at times. Occasionally, we may experience extreme concentration called hyperfocusing, where our attention becomes intensely focused on something specific, causing us to overlook external factors such as someone shouting our name, the changing time, or realizing that we've gone without food or water for extended periods.
9. ‘You’re trying to be difficult.’
Individuals with ADHD aren't acting this way to irritate you—they just process information differently. As Donovan pointed out, those with ADHD aren't deliberately attempting to annoy or disrupt you. Showing some tolerance and empathy, along with avoiding personal offense, can significantly improve your engagements with individuals who have ADHD (as well as everyone else).
10. 'No, you're meant to do it.' this way.’
While ADHD presents various difficulties, it frequently offers the benefit of approaching problems from unconventional angles. Individuals with ADHD sometimes call this unorthodox way of thinking their secret weapon.
Even though there might be an approach that many people think makes common sense, it usually doesn’t align well with how the ADHD mind functions," Anderson explained. "Instead of criticizing the technique, focus on the outcome. Due to their different way of thinking, individuals with ADHD excel at discovering unconventional (and frequently superior) methods for tackling issues.
11. 'Each person has a bit of ADHD.'
While it's accurate that each of us exhibits behaviors that could potentially indicate ADHD — such as “ tossing ” or an unexpected laundry habit —the level of intensity and length varies for individuals with an ADHD diagnosis.
We each encounter these human experiences to different extents," Kahn stated. "The point at which they persist for extended periods and hinder our ability to perform tasks we believe we ought to manage becomes significant.
12. 'Have you considered utilizing a task list or planner?'
Managing organization can pose difficulties for many individuals, yet those with ADHD face an even more pronounced struggle.
"Suggesting that it's an easy solution doesn't take into account the challenges related to executive function that numerous individuals with ADHD encounter," Sultan stated.
Anderson remembered that something similar had occurred with him earlier.
When I initially discussed ADHD with my doctor, he gestured for me to come closer to his desk, giving off an impression that he had groundbreaking insights regarding ADHD that could transform my experience," he recounted. "However, all he did was display the Outlook calendar on his computer screen, seemingly suggesting that utilizing a digital planner was something revolutionary and expected to solve my ADHD issues.
I assure you that someone with ADHD has likely attempted nearly all the productivity hacks you might imagine," he went on. "We understand 'what' needs to be done; however, the challenge lies in our ability to actually execute those actions due to ADHD.