I hope my husband could provide VND 10 million ($388) each month for our family and unforeseen needs, yet I am uncertain about how to approach this topic with him without causing tension.
My spouse and I share the same age, and together we have a little girl who just turned one. After spending a full year at home looking after her, I recently went back to work two months ago. During weekdays, she stays with my in-laws in another town, but we reunite as a family over the weekend. At present, once our child reaches 15 months of age, I aspire to welcome her into our own household again. Despite how much they adore her, I feel strongly that being brought up by her birth parents will benefit her growth more effectively.
Sadly, I have no supporters for my viewpoint apart from my younger sister. At present, we're living in a rented house, and my spouse believes it would be better for our daughter to reside with his parents, as their home offers ample room and cleaner surroundings. His mother wishes for her to remain there until she reaches an age suitable for starting school. Both of my parents concur with this arrangement, and even my brother-in-law has recommended keeping things unchanged until our child turns around three when she will likely develop clearer communication skills.
If I go ahead and bring her home, nobody can prevent me from doing so, yet it would disturb quite a few individuals and result in idle talk. Whenever I come to see our daughter, she becomes very attached to me, making it necessary for me to leave discreetly to avoid being noticed. This situation tears at my emotions each time I face this choice.
Another concern is our financial situation. I teach and earn around VND11-12 million a month, with breakfast and lunch provided at work. My husband works in maintenance for electricity and water, earning VND12 million a month.
He says that’s his salary, but I’ve never seen his pay slip or bank account. Every month, he gives me VND7-8.5 million, keeping the rest for food and transportation. I used to work extra at a teaching center in the evenings, but since extra tutoring was banned, I stopped. Adding the VND3-4 million I send to my in-laws for my daughter’s care, there’s nothing left at the end of the month.
I really want to increase my income, maybe start selling something in the evenings, but I lack experience and am afraid to try. I’ve told my husband that if his salary is really VND12 million, he should quit his job And look for something more profitable. Given that income, along with the depreciation of his motorcycle due to working at construction sites, it simply isn’t sufficient.
It seems he believes I'm solely interested in money, so I've refrained from bringing it up with him. However, without discussing this with him, I’m unsure how we'll handle our finances with our joint earnings. My aim for the future is to reunite with our daughter and ensure she has a great quality of life.
My spouse isn't very chatty, and when we get home from work, each of us tends to handle separate chores like cleaning, grocery shopping, and doing laundry, which leaves little room for talking. If I feel the urge to chat, I usually reach out to my friends or relatives via messages or calls instead. The constant pressure from job responsibilities along with all my concerns makes it difficult to find someone to confide in, and this situation is really draining me.
What can I do? Any guidance or ideas would be greatly appreciated.